"How empty of me...to be so full off you"
"I'll never forget my baby. I'll never forget you"
"You don't have to hold on to the pain...to hold on to the memory."
Brenda Barrett sat in her cottage, looking sadly at her surroundings. Thoughts of Sonny filled her mind, filled it to the brink of exploding. Because today was March 7. It was a whole year since they had made love in the caves. A whole year that had drastically changed their lives forever. Her hatred and anger had been displaced with a memory of sadness. Her heart ached for his strong arms, his loving caress, his warm gaze. His entire soul had once belonged to her, and now it was lost forever.
Sonny Corinthos stared out the window of the LearJet as it landed at Port Charles International Airport. Jason had called him and told him he needed to come back, if that was even possible. They both knew it was beyond logical or ethical, but something in Sonny's soul told him he needed to come back to the town he once called home. Brenda was there. She was the only reason he called it home, and the only reason he was there now.
Brenda stood up and made her way to the window, starind outside. It was snowing, and Brenda felt the impulse to wrap her arms around her tiny body. Well, not so tiny anymore. She gazed down at her growing stomach, and shuddered at the explosions of love that coursed through her heart. Sonny's little baby, now eight months along, grew inside her stomach. Jax had tried to make her abort it after her breakdown, she remembered, but she knew it was too late. She had fallen in love with her child, and with the thought of being its mother. She knew the time would come when her son...or daughter, would ask who their daddy was, and Brenda would just have to tell them, "Your daddy was a very special man. I loved him very much."
Brenda uttered a sob. It was true. She loved Sonny more and more everyday, because he planted that tiny baby inside of her. If only he knew...if only he knew.
Sonny sat in the limo as it drove through the streets of Port Charles. He gave the driver the signal and the car screeched to a stop at the curb. The side door opened and Sonny watched as Jason slid in. Jason closed the door as quickly as he had opened it and turned to his friend.
"Hey." Sonny said strangly. The word seemed strange, because he hadn't been speaking much English lately, for appearences sake. Five months in Central Mexico, and three in southern Spain. He hadn't travelled as much as he had planned, but he would after this. This was the first and last time Sonny came back to Port Charles. Whether he left with or without Brenda didn't matter, what matter was that she knew. Knew that he loved her and knew that that was why he left her.
"Where is she Jason?" Sonny asked, concern etched in his every syllable.
Brenda stared into her hot tea and sighed. The tears began to fall once again, and she gently swipped them away. Her heart was beating irratically, and she got one of her feelings. The feeling she always had, subconsciously, when Sonny was near. She had it the night of her "wedding" when she stood out in the rain, and she had it now. The feeling grew stronger as she slowly walked out of the kitchen and into her living room.
Her heart and soul were nearly screaming at her as she started up the stairs toward her bedroom. She slowly sat on the bed and set the tea down on her nightstand, covering her ears with her hands. She started humming to herself, all the while blocking out the sound of her soul crying out Sonny's name. Suddenly, she felt her lips wrench open and cry his name, forcing it from her throat. Tears fell rapidly down her smooth, creamy cheeks and she got off her bed and rushed down the stairs as fast as her pregnant legs would carry her. She was screaming his name by the time she made it to the front door and yanked it open. Both her and her visitor were immensly shocked at what they found.
Brenda's tears seemed to becoming from some place hidden, as if she were a dam about to break, as her heart, confused at how to react, and her lips forced out a cry of pure shock, "SONNY!"
"Its all coming back to me...now"
"I love you"
"Everything that you are...seduces me."
Sonny stared at Brenda, taking in every inch of her beautiful body, from the tip of her head, all the way down...until his eyes stopped at her abdomen. His heart began to race, and sweat broke out of every pore in his skin. His hand reached out and touched her stomach, testing to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Sonny's eyes filled with tears.
"Baby..." He whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.
Brenda felt the anger rise, suddenly, out of nowhere. The anger and the total desperation. She cried ouit and launched herself at him, her fists connecting with his chest.
"Why'dyou leave me you son of a bitch!?" She started crazily. "Why? Why'd you leave me? Why couldn't you face me? Why? Why couldn't you love me? Why? Why did I have to love you? Why are you here? God, if I could hate you!" Her fists punched and beat his chest as Sonny fiercly tried to grab them. Brenda's fighting went from strong and able to feeble and weak. She collapsed against him with a sob of heartache."Why?" She moaned hoarsly, in finality.
"Baby, look at me." Sonny whispered, tilting her chin. Her eyes met his and she whimpered. Those eyes hadn't changed. They were still full of pain, abuse, heartache, fury, confusion, love.... Brenda's body went weak. The love for her that she saw there made her realize, suddenly, made her realize. She had never known why he had left her until this very second. She couldn't believe why she hadnt known, she couldn't believe why she hadn't guessed.
"I know everything, Sonny." Brenda said, turning around and heading back into the cottage. Sonny raised his eyebrows as he stepped in and closed the door. "What?" She turned and looked at him. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a gray sweater. Very unsual for Brenda to see him so casual, but she loved it just the same. She supposed it was a disguise. "You look good."
"I don't feel that way." Sonny whispered,, barely audible. "I never have."
"Me too." Brenda sat, to the best of her ability, on the couch. "Why are you here, Sonny? I know Jason doesn't keep in touch with you, I know you don't read the paper...or, wait, was I wrong about that too?"
"Baby, there's so much you need to know-"
"I know everything and its all a bunch of bull." Brenda snapped. "You left me to protect me." She laughed. "I believed Jason when he told me you didn't love me and never had, and I BELIEVED myself when I thought you were hiring people you didn't even know to kill me! Thats how good you lie, honey. Once again, I fell for it hook, line, and sinker."
"How did you...know..why?" Sonny sputtered.
"If you think its Jason, you're wrong." Brenda informed him. "What I want to know is why you're back."
"Jason said you...you needed me." Sonny whispered in awe, staring at her wide stomach. "He didn't say..."
"I'm fine, Sonny." Brenda whispered softly. "I wasn't at first and Jax helped me after my breakdown, to put my life back together. I told you and myself that I wouldn't need anyone to rescue me, and i was wrong about that. I let myself die when you left, because I was so used to you being around. I can't live like that anymore, Sonny..."
"..but I can't live without it, either." She gasped, on the verge of crying again. "You coming here made me realize how much I need you. How much our baby needs you-"
"Baby, I want that too," Sonny whispered, squating in front of her.
Brenda looked away. "I can't trust you." Sonny's face fell. "I cant trust you until I know why you decided to hurt me like that... Why you decided to RIP my heart out and then THROW it in my face as if it didn't mean anything to me."
"I couldn't let you die like Lily did." Sonny whispered. "I couldn't live with myself if I let you die for or because of me, Brenda. The most important thing in my life is your life. I couldn't.." He started to weep. "I couldn't watch another person I gave my life to die for me. I couldn't. I wouldn't." His head fell inbetween his arms as he weeped like a baby. Brenda covered her mouth as her lips quivered, and then placed her hands on Sonny's head, threading her fingers through his hair.
"I wanted to be with you Sonny, I knew the consqeuences. I didn't care if I died, as long as i was with you."
"But I did care! I do care! I love you too much, SO much, it hurts me. I can even imagine what it would be like if you died..."
"Our baby needs a father." Brenda whispered. "I need our baby to be a father. You're its father, you're here... You-"
Sonny shook his head, wiping at his tears, "I'm in love with you, Brenda. I never stopped loving you, not for a moment since I met you. I'm going to prove it to you for the rest of our lives, if you'll give me a chance..."
"You already have one, baby." Brenda whispered softly. "Give yourself a chance." Sonny sniffled as more tears fell. He stood up and sat down next to her. Brenda shuddered, being so close to the man she loved again. Sonny sobbed quietly as he whispered, "I love you, Brenda." He took her face in his hands and kissed her lips. Brenda gasped happily and kissed him back. She had missed their kisses, their wonderful, loving, adoring kisses and she welcomed his mouth on hers joyously. Sonny slowly pulled away and Brenda moaned as Sonny bent down and kissed Brenda's stomach. She clutched his head as he did so, and he whispered, "And I love you."
Brenda's chest shook softly as she weeped, "I love you! I love you so much!" Sonny's lips closed over hers once again. They kissed, in celebration of their fourth, and final reunion, and in light of the love that would last them the rest of their lives.